


Compose Myself

by ramennialls



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Music Shop AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-10 00:04:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1152417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramennialls/pseuds/ramennialls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Niall meet at the music store Harry works at and Harry’s just kind of drawn toward the blond boy and invites him back.</p>
<p>… And maybe the blond becomes a significant factor of Harry’s well performance at the huge piano festival coming up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Narry AU

                Harry sat behind the grand piano in the back room of his best mate’s instrument shop with his fingertips ghosting over the keys. He hadn’t gotten in a complete run through of his new composition that he was going to be playing at the big piano festival coming up. It wasn’t that he thought he was too good to practice, no, he was just so nervous that even thinking about playing in front of so many people has got his stomach churning and his palms sweating, thoughts of a million ways he could screw this all up racing through his head.

                Drawing in a deep breath, he started playing anyway. He almost didn’t need to look at the music in front of him, he had the piece practically memorized, and he could feel it as if it were a part of him. His fingers held the skill to finesse over keys, as well as tactfully accomplish forte measures.  A few minutes later, he was playing the closing notes of his composition, and he felt so good. He always felt good playing the piano. It was what he lived for.

                He let out a breath and smiled to himself. It was a beautiful piece, the best he’s ever composed, he thinks. Just the right degree of challenging that it’s not a safe piece, but when played to perfection, beautiful. The only problem was that Harry didn’t have the confidence to perform in front of an audience. He’d always been a talented musician, piano and otherwise, but when it came to performing in front of people, it was all just a bit too much. He liked performing for himself, feeling himself float through the music, being a part of what he’s created. Sharing it though, he could do without.

It wasn’t as if he’s never performed in front of people before. He’d been to plenty of recitals and auditions and performed at music festivals. It was just more of a personal problem where he just never seemed to perform up to par when there were other people around. He wasn’t able to get the floating feeling of being completely and utterly absorbed in the music. Whenever he’d perform in front of people, he’d constantly worry about the one iffy measure in the piece, or if he’ll hit the key with enough force or enough finesse, but when he’s performing by himself, for himself, he’s not worried at all and it all just sounds more relaxed and just, better.

With one last breath, he stood up from the piano bench and went over to pull the hideous green ‘music mania’ polo over his head for work. He loved the job, and the fact that he got to spend most of his free time surrounded by what he loves, and working for his best mate Louis, but the horrid dark green of the polo’s? Really? As he opened the door that led into the main shop, he was met by the bluest eyes he’s ever seen in his life, belonging to the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen in his life.

“Hey you’re staff right? I couldn’t find anyone around but I’m assuming because…” the boy trailed off, gesturing to the logo on Harry’s polo. Harry flushes at the sound of the boy’s voice, deep, and laced with an Irish lilt.

“I um yeah, I’m um, staff, yeah,” Harry manages to stutter out in his flustered state.

“Alright great, I was looking for an E string for a mandolin? My mate was messing around with it this morning and it just snapped right in his face.”

There’s a certain confidence this boy has about himself that has Harry intrigued. Harry doesn’t know much about mandolins, nor does he particularly care to learn about them, but he swears he could listen to the boy talk about them all day.

“Oh yeah, mandolin E string we’ve got those right back here.” Harry says as he walks behind the counter where they keep all of the strings for almost every string instrument one could name. It’s at times like this when Harry thanks whatever god is up there that the one thing in his life Louis keeps organized are the strings in his shop.

Harry pulls a small paper package out of the drawer labeled “Mandolin: E” and hands it to the blond boy.

The blond boy lets out a non-committal ‘thanks’ and hands over a twenty dollar bill.

“You can keep the change.”

Harry panics and waves his hands around in the air.

“No, no, no I can’t do that, the string was only five dollars.” Harry gets a ten and a five out of the register and waves it in the air.

“No it’s fine, just keep it for yourself. Think of it as a tip, you know, for gracing me with being able to hear whatever beautiful piece was being played in the back before you came in. ”

Harry flushed bright red at the thought of someone hearing something he felt was so personal. He hadn’t thought anyone had heard it but him.

“Oh, you heard that? Well, um, I still can’t – I can’t take a fifteen dollar tip from you.”

“Please? Really. Just keep it. I promise it’s fine.” The blond insisted.

“Only if you promise to come back tomorrow.” Harry finds himself saying before he can stop the words from falling out of his mouth.

“Okay deal. See you tomorrow.” The boy leaves the shop and Harry finds the air feeling a little emptier than it was a few moments ago.

Harry couldn’t help but think of the boy throughout his day at the shop. He didn’t even catch his name, but the boy was just so beautiful, and the way he carried himself was something else. Harry couldn’t wait until he came back to the shop tomorrow.

At around three, Louis came into the shop with a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Hazza! I missed you man, how was your day?”

Harry proceeded to tell Louis about the blond boy with the mandolin string and how beautiful he was and the fifteen dollar tip and the promise of his return.

“Oh! And I completed a run through of the composition I’ve been working on and it sounded so great, Lou. You missed it,” he added as an afterthought. “How was your day?”

“It was so funny, comical even, Liam, big huge manly Liam that I fancy, you know? He walked into play rehearsal today and I thought it was some kind of mistake. Everyone did, actually, you know, the town’s star athlete just walking into this theater production but it turns out, Mrs.Dinheart convinced him to come around and take part in it and he’s so fucking intimidated by the old lady, it’s so funny. And that’s not even the best part, Haz. The best part is just the fact that now he’s a part of the production and I get to spend every day with him until the performance. Isn’t that great? It’s time for me to turn on the charm.”

“Oh god, that’s great Lou. Best of luck to you on that.” Harry smiles fondly at his best friend.

Harry and Louis exchanged idle conversation until it was time to close shop. Both of them had changed back into casual outfits in the back room and had just stepped outside when Louis spoke.

“Are you up for some dinner tonight or no?”

Harry shook his head, “I’ll have to take a rain check tonight, I kind of just want to go home and sleep. Maybe make some finishing touches on my piece.”

“Okay that’s cool. See you tomorrow then, yeah?”

“Yeah good night Lou!” Harry shouted as they walked home in opposite directions.

As soon as he got home, he collapsed onto his couch and fell asleep, exhausted from his day, his last thought being the blond boy and all the possible outcomes of their meeting for the next day.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Niall meet at the music store Harry works at and Harry’s just kind of drawn toward the blond boy and invites him back.
> 
> … And maybe the blond becomes a significant factor of Harry’s well performance at the huge piano festival coming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look Chapter 2! Enjoy!

Harry sat at the counter of the shop the next day, waiting for the Irish boy to arrive. Louis had put him in charge of the store playlist for the day, and so naturally, the 1975 were playing softly through the speakers.

He didn’t know when the boy was planning on showing up, but he seemed pretty genuine in his word that he’d show up, so Harry was hopeful. He spent most of the early morning sorting through the box of used CDs someone had left in front of the store, and helping out the occasional customer. By noon, Harry was disappointed by the lack of cute Irish blonds that had stopped by the store.

Harry sat at the counter eating his lunch, a bag of chips and some leftover mac n cheese that he had found in the fridge in the back, when Louis came in.

“Hey Haz. Busy day? Has blondie turned up yet?” Louis questioned, pulling up a stool and sitting beside Harry at the counter.

Harry shook his head solemnly, stuffing his face with another spoonful of mac n cheese. Louis took his best friend’s glum look as a cue to pull him into a hug.

“Hey, don’t look so sad. We don’t close up until seven and that’s not for another six hours eh? There’s still plenty of time for him to turn up, okay, Hazza? And even if he doesn’t, you’ve always got me!” Louis smirks and pats Harry’s back a little harshly, making him choke a little on his unswallowed mac n cheese.

“Yeah. Okay Lou. Whatever. I mean, it’s whatever if he no shows. He doesn’t like, owe it to me or anything. I’m being ridiculous.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure he’ll show. Who can resist an adorable face like yours? Oh! Speaking of adorable faces, I can’t come back later to close the shop up with you because a certain someone with the most adorable face  _ever_ agreed to dinner with me tonight. That’s alright though, right? You can handle closing shop? I’m sure blondie can keep you company until closing once he shows up anyways, right?”

“Um, yeah, sure Louis. I’ll close shop,” Harry ignores the comment about the blond boy. “Have fun on your date though yeah?”

“Of course. Do you know how long I’ve waited for this day, Harry?”

“A really long time Lou. Have fun.” Harry pushes Louis off of his spot on the stool. “Now go get your man.”

Louis grins widely and practically skips to the door.

“I’ll see you later curly! Have fun with blondie! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Harry feels all of the blood in his body pool into his cheeks at Louis’ last statement and looks down at his feet. The blond would have to show up first, if anything.

Once Harry had finished his mac n cheese and bag of chips, he went over to the guitars and stared at them with a hint of longing. Harry had always wished to be able to play the instrument, but he was always so busy practicing the piano that he never had the chance to learn. He could play a variety of instruments, from the piano, being his best, to the violin and cello, to the piccolo and the saxophone, to the French horn, but he couldn’t play the guitar. And he wanted to learn to so badly.

After five agonizing hours of waiting for a certain blue eyed beauty to show up, it was time to close shop. Harry had never felt so let down in his entire life. Not even the time when he had perfected his symphonic band sax solo only for it to be given to another boy at the last second, had he felt so disappointed. What made the whole situation even worse was that he didn’t know why he felt so disappointed. He didn’t even know the boy’s name, or anything about him. He was half expecting the no show from the beginning, but there was just something about the fact that the boy didn’t show up like he had promised that had Harry feeling like his heart was up in his throat.

Upset and a little pissed off, Harry locked up and trudged his way home through the rain. The weather made Harry even madder than he was before, it hadn’t rained where he lives for a month, but of course it would rain when he’s already more than a little upset and having to walk outside alone.

By the time he got home every last curl on his head was soaked, and his white t-shirt was completely see through. He unlocked the door to his apartment and shed his clothes as soon as the door was shut.

He couldn’t figure out why this kept happening to him. Why every time he even thought about liking someone, they’d do something to make him feel worthless once again. He didn’t have much time to waste on having petty little crushes, so he tried so hard not to fall for people, but he couldn’t help himself. He hadn’t had a boyfriend since three years ago, when his first boyfriend, Nick, who was tall and built and a few years older than himself, had cheated on him with some girl and left him heartbroken. He still wasn’t completely over it.

Harry shook his head and got in the shower. He didn’t need anyone to make him happy. He could be happy all by himself with his music and Louis and his music and his music.

But as the hot water scorched his back, Harry felt a few tears escape his eyes. He wasn’t happy. And he could fool everyone else into thinking he was, but he would never be able to convince himself of that. All he wanted was someone who cares about him. Someone who’s not Louis who cares about him. Someone who cares about him in a - 3 am McDonalds date, kiss him when he’s feeling down, late night cuddles on the couch – sort of way.

And even though Harry was a long shot away from believing in love at first sight, he knew he was so deeply infatuated with the blond boy whose name, Harry now comes to realize, he’ll probably never get to know. And Harry had so deeply believed that the attraction he felt for the boy could have developed into something more, but the chance had now gone.

Harry stepped out of the shower and dried off before flopping onto his bed face down on top of the covers. There, he cried some more before he finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Harry was awoken not by his alarm clock, for it was Saturday, but by the sunlight that was shining through the blinds he had forgotten to shut the night before. Groaning, he flipped over and brought a pillow over his face in an attempt to block out the light. Right as he was about to drift off again, his phone rang. He groaned in annoyance before picking the phone up.

“What.”

“Aw shit, did I wake little Hazzy up?” Louis’ cheerful, high-pitched baby voice rang in Harry’s ears.

“Yes. What do you want, Lou? It’s my day off.”

“I really need you to come in today Hazza please? Please? I will be eternally grateful for your kind soul for doing this favor for me.”

“I can’t Lou. I have to work on my practicing my composition for the festival and –“

“But that’s like three months away! Please, Harry, I’m begging you!” Louis cut him off.

“I wouldn’t, even if I could, but I really can’t, because as I was trying to say earlier, I have a private lesson scheduled with Sarah today and her mom’s supposed to drop her off here in like an hour…” Harry saw the flaw in this excuse as soon as it had left his mouth.

“So just arrange it so you can work here! There’s a grand right in the back of the shop! Haz please!”

“What’s so important that you need me to come in so badly? Why can’t you get Oli to watch the shop for the day?”

“I already asked Oli! He’s busy with school or whatever but I have another date with Liam, which, by the way, he asked me out on, and I said yes but I forgot that it’s my day to run the shop on my own and please Haz, I really need you.”

“Fine, fine!” Harry gave into his best friend, sighing and rolling out of bed to put clothes on. “But I swear to god, you owe me.”

“Yes! Thank you so much Harry! I love you so much, oh my god, yes! I’m gonna just lock the store and you can unlock and reopen once you get here, right? Okay, great, thanks Haz! I’m going on another date with Liam Payne!” he shouted just before he ended the call. Harry smiled at how excited Louis was and put his phone down before getting ready for his day.

A bowl of cereal and a phone call later, Harry found himself in the back room of the shop, this time with an eleven year old girl named Sarah.

Sarah has always been Harry’s favorite person to be around, other than Louis, of course. Sarah was unbelievably smart for her age, and a very, very talented musician. She and Harry often talked about life and worldly events as well as about the piano and musical composition. When Harry had first told Louis about her, Louis had thought Sarah was their age, and possibly Harry’s new love interest. When Louis told Harry that, he had almost died of laughter before informing his friend that Sarah was an eleven year old that he taught the piano.

“So what’s wrong, Harry?” she asked him, sensing his bad mood. “You seem sad.”

“Some boy stood me up yesterday.”

“It’s not like you haven’t been stood up before.” Sarah stated a matter-of-factly, and Harry remembered that maybe the downside of having an eleven year old friend to confide in is that everything that comes out of their mouth is so candid and not very well thought out.

“Well, yeah, but this boy he was… he was different. Or at least, I thought he might have been,” Harry stated sadly.

“What was his name?” Sarah asked him curiously.

“I uh, I don’t actually know. I was going to ask him yesterday, but he never showed up, so I didn’t have the chance.”

“Well that’s just silly then. You can’t have a crush on someone if you don’t even know their name! And if you can’t have a crush on them, then you can’t be heartbroken over them. See? Problem solved!”

Harry laughed. If only the problem were solved. He tried to remember if things worked like that back when he was eleven, but he couldn’t remember. How simple things must have been back then.

The sound of a bell rang through the store, signaling the arrival of a customer.

“I’ll be right back,” Harry told Sarah, “Just, work on the piece.”

Sarah and nodded and began playing as Harry made his way into the main part of the store. As soon as he stepped in though, he wished so badly to be able to turn around and leave. He was met with a pair of blue eyes – those – pair of blue eyes, and he didn’t know if he wanted to cry or die on the spot.

“Hey! It’s you again! I was just-“

“I’m leaving.” Harry cut the boy off before turning around and walking back to the door from which he had entered.

“No wait!” the boy frantically shook his head. Harry turned around and glared at the boy.

“I came in first thing in the morning at opening and I locked up by myself all just for you and you couldn’t even bother to show up. And I know we don’t know each other and you don’t owe me anything but you could at least refrain from making promises you can’t keep and getting people’s hopes up to crush them into the ground.” Harry looked down before turning back around and making his way towards the door once again.

 “Look, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it yesterday like I promised, but it wasn’t without a reason, I promise. I wouldn’t stand up someone as adorable as you.” Harry stopped in his tracks at the blond boy’s words and took a deep breath before turning around and looking back into the boy’s eyes.

“Why? And it better not be some bullshit reason because really, I’ve heard enough bullshit excuses for not being able to follow through on promises for a lifetime.” Harry sighs, having Nick in mind.

“My band had a gig scheduled last night, we’re the regular Friday night act at this bar downtown and so originally, my plan had been to come and get you and ask if you wanted to come down and watch us play, but then Zayn, he’s the lead singer and keyboardist, which might seem like a weird combination but we’re really just kind of like Coldplayish, I guess, and anyways, I’m getting off track. So yeah, Zayn, who’s the lead singer caught ill yesterday morning and so the whole band’s freaking out, right? And then Dan, who’s the main guitarist, tells me that I have to sing, because I’m the only one who can even barely carry a tune other than Zayn. And so everything was just this huge mess, and I had completely forgotten about my promise to come back here because I was just completely and utterly stressed out, but then as soon as the gig was over I remembered and I literally sprinted here all the way from the bar downtown because I wasn’t sure what time you guys closed up, but it was locked. And I guess the whole point is that I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset at me.”

“Oh,” Harry let out a breath. Now he felt completely foolish for thinking the blond just hadn’t shown up because he was some sort of a self-absorbed asshole. “Oh.” He let out again, looking up at the blond for the first time in what felt like forever, but was in reality only a minute or two. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot.”

“No! You’re not an idiot!” the blond boy insisted. “I’d be pretty upset too, probably. But um, do you want to maybe go out tomorrow night if you’re free? I understand if you don’t want to because of the whole thing with me not showing up yesterday and stuff but it’d be pretty sick if you’d give me a chance?”

“I uh, I would, but um…” Harry watched as the blond’s face dropped.  “I would, but I don’t even know your name.” He finished. The boy in front of him lit up and cracked a smile.

“I’m Niall. Niall Horan.”

“I’m Harry Styles.” Harry laughed and stuck his hand out for Niall to shake.

“Well, Harry Styles, it’s very nice to meet you. So… Date?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow night.” Niall threw his head back and laughed before jumping up and running to the door. “Wait! Niall! Don’t leave yet I don’t have your number.”

Niall laughed again and walked back over to Harry and they exchanged numbers.

“I’ll pick you up at seven!” He shouted cheerfully and let out another giddy laugh before leaving the shop.

Harry smiled widely and walked back into the back room where Sarah was waiting for him with a smile on her face.

“So… Niall, huh?” Harry blushed bright red.

“Shut up. Get back to work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it

**Author's Note:**

> I have other fics on my tumblr if your interested my URL is 'ramennialls' there's a 'writing' page under 'navi'


End file.
